The Bubble

I don't really know what a blog should entail, but I'll write anyway.

My first topic: The Bubble.

I spent the majority of my sophomore year apart of a church youth group, it just kind of happened that way. I was completely immersed in the people & the lifestyle. I gave up drinking and smoking, partying, with a few exceptions. I was the typical christian goodie good, or atleast I tried.

It's now a year later, I am not the typical christian goodie good, and I pray to God I never will be.

Now that I can say I've done the partying thing, I've done the Jesus thing, I can start doing my own thing. When I was partying, I was in the bubble, you couldnt dare change my mind, while I was in the christian bubble, you couldn't dare change my mind. In either bubble, it was horrible, I was horrible.

Party Bubble (for me)= constantly lying, backstabbing, faking my way through every day.
Christian Bubble (for me)= I became overly judgemental, rude, hateful & less compassionate.

In both bubbles, I was surrounded by listeners & followers, rarely any doers or speakers.

So now, this is me, all me, I refuse to lose myself again. I refuse to be apart of the bubble again.
The is no ultimate good that comes from being apart of either bubble. If you're scared, I suppose you can stay sheltered in either way, or you can burst it, and really start living. I couldn't be happier or feel more successful. If there is anything in your life that tells you to stop being you, or to be like everyone else, that doesn't really affect you positively, or gets you to treat your own family bad, step out of that bubble, there is so much fear, yet none at all outside the bubble. I've seen true unhappiness in both bubbles, not only in myself, but in everyone else inside as well, the fear of bursting it consumes them, it consumed me until now.

You're never going to be the best you can be, when your mind isn't open to anything more than what you've always known. You can't step forward if you've been building a wall. Have your own mind & speak it. Be yourself, not a carbon copy of preconceived perfection, live with feeling, I see empty hearts, and it breaks mine, I see empty minds, and it makes me lose mine.

There is so much evil & negativity everywhere, so you have to make that choice for yourself, what's it going to be? True happiness? or are you going to live in mediocrity by the book, whether that book be the bible or a biography of your favourite fucked up character. Are you going to be a remake, or be the most original you can be. Follow your own dreams, or watch others do it & settle. This is YOUR life, you get one, you can hold onto all your fears and past disappointments or let them go, and be your own boss or you can stay in the bubble watching life go by. The bubble will never be a place I choose to stay. Burst it, before you can too comfortable. The fact is you have more control than you know, Why let it go, and be controlled by whichever bubble your letting trap you?

I know my answer, Do you know yours?